The truth about self sabotage

 
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Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by your own self-sabotage.

Yup, same.

It truly is SO frustrating when you know what you should be doing to reach your goals, and yet you’re always getting in your own way. Instead of eating a salad, you reach for the chips and queso. Instead of working on that passion project, you turn on Netflix.

Often we tell ourselves, “I’m just not motivated right now,” and then hope for our motivation to magically show up while we slide back into old patterns and habits that don’t serve us.


But in order to stop the self-sabotage, we must identify what’s really going on, and why we are doing it in the first place.

Self- sabotage is your subconscious mind’s way of keeping you comfortable and safe.

The truth is, change is scary. Even change for the better - improving your health, starting that business that will allow you financial freedom, letting go of relationships that don’t serve you. It’s scary because on the other side of that change is something new and unfamiliar. And to your subconscious brain, unfamiliar = the world is ending and you’ll probably die (sounds harsh, but it’s true!)

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Ultimately, self-sabotage - especially perfectionism & procrastination - stems from our deepest doubts and fears. Doubt that we’ll be able to change. Fear of failing, of being worse off than where we started, of looking stupid and being judged.

So how do we stop self-sabotaging?

To get to the root of self-sabotage, I recommend journaling and asking yourself these questions:

  • What am I afraid of?

  • What’s the worst that could happen if I fail? If I succeed?

  • How is my current reality serving me?

  • What are the benefits I’m getting from not reaching my goals?

  • What might I need to give up or let go of to evolve into the next best version of myself? What scares me most about that?

Look at what comes up for you and ask yourself, do I want this to be true for me? Can I release this belief? What would I need to think/believe instead to stop procrastinating and move forward?



This is truly an exercise in awareness and self-compassion. Get specific, be honest, and avoid judging yourself! There is no wrong way to do this work, and when you take the time to explore the reasons behind your self-sabotage, that’s when the biggest breakthroughs happen.


xx

Micki


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