To my clients, my readers, anyone seeking help with their health or life, and most of all, to myself –
Please accept my heartfelt apology.
I’ve been needing to get this off my chest, so here it is:
I’m sorry I haven’t shown up for you. I’m sorry I’ve been playing so small.
For so long now, I’ve been drowning in negative thoughts and emotions. I’ve been paralyzed by my own fear and indecision, held captive by the prison I created for myself in my mind.
The truth is, I’ve been terrified.
Terrified that I won’t be good enough for you. Terrified I’ll let you down. I’ve created stories in my mind based on my own misguided perceptions, and succumbed to my own limiting beliefs so much that I don’t even recognize myself sometimes.
Who am I? How did I get here? Where did it go so wrong?
I am the one that asks others to show up for themselves, but how can I ask that when I don’t lead by example? How can I expect you to show up and give your all when I have spent so long hiding?
I’m telling you this now because I know you know the feeling. The feeling that you are not good enough. That you aren’t ready yet. That you don’t know enough. The feeling you can’t do it. The feeling you don’t deserve it.
I believe you wouldn’t be here, reading this now, if you didn’t relate to my plight on some level.
Owning your shit is hard. Getting over doubt and insecurity, declaring to the world, “I am enough and I freaking deserve this dammit!”
We all want it, but how many of us actually claim it?
I am with you. And I promise – I promise to show up. I promise to have faith in myself, and trust myself. I promise to let go of needing permission, or approval. And I promise to let go of needing to be perfect.
Life is too short, and we each have too much to give, to not play full out.
I’m ready now. To be vulnerable and authentic, to show up for you, and serve you to the best of my ability. I surrender my faith back to the universe, the process, myself.
My dear sweet friends, from the bottom of my heart, I hope you’ll forgive me. And then, I hope you’ll join me.